[currently listening to i want you to need me - celine dion]
there are moments in life tht u wish u hav tht sum1 special to share it with. there are needs tht u wana share wif tht fabulous being. there are passing time u wana b wif tht appreciated love ones.
sumtyms u wish u wana b evrywhere wif tht person. be their fantasy n reality at the same time. b the dream when u wake up. b in fairytale when ur not sleeping but at this moment, dreams r only dreams n fairytale r meant for kids.
to those single being out there, hav u ever came to a point of blank n halt where u wish theres sum1 u cn cherish wif? those warm hugs, sweet kisses n tender whispers. fingers entwined when u walk together, the sound of heartbeat in the middle of the nite, the soft caress running thru, the whisp of breath on ur neck. those r the power of love. coz its a feeling. not a decision. its sumthng magical tht u hav to experience. sumthng tht u cnt tell but u can show better.
sum of u may wonder y im typing this out. ryt? well...last nite i hav a dream abt him. haiqal tht is. he was thanking me for all those prayers ive been sending him. thn he said sumthng tht teared me "jgn suka turut kata hati. jgn sampaikan gementar badan utk teruskan hidup. jgn asyik mengundurkan diri utk kebahagiaan org lain. jgn paksa rela sendiri. jgn tutup pintu hati utk bercinta lagi. beri peluang pada hati utk buka...."
thn i ask myself am i too defensive towards my heart tht i dnt let othas in? am i putting up a facade of being contented? is this all a farce so tht i wont get hurt agn? am i self-centred? always try to do things logically instead of intuition? so i tried to let myself venture out...tryna gain sumthng but the thot of venturing scares me. afraid tht sumthng i gain will b sumthng tht i despice. coz ive tried letting myself fall, falling to the unknown but theres neva anyone to save me. so i fall n hurt myself. ova n ova again.
thn i remmbr sumthng tht i read tht goes sumthng like this..."what would you say if i told you thth i really love you with all my heart n soul? i wana spend all my life with you. because i knw tht deep down in my heart, you are my soulmate and i would neva eva b the same wifout you by my side. every seconds of my life is dedicated to u. wheneva we part frm each otha, i miss ur touch, ur smile, ur laughter, ur voice, ur warmth, ur presence and especially ur soul. all i am hoping for is for u to accept me for who i am. i promise tht i will neva stop showering you with undying love for evry moments of ur life...."
but then sum1 did told me tht love is juz love. it comes n goes. its still a feeling. its filled with likes n dislikes, advantage n disadvantage, positive n negative.
i bliv in true love. love at first sight. n thank god ive experienced it before. ive experience it for 4 long years. but the last petal drops n took it away. is there sucha thing as true love for the second time? love at second sight? no ryte...but thn agn evrythng worth a second look thts y theres sucha thing as chances. choices. options.
so i guess i jus wait till the ryte moment arrive. but do giv me a sign if tht moment is ryte infront of me. dnt leave me astray agn.....
toodles
mizbithaqueen
p.s:
i wana b the reason for a smile on ur face. i wana b the one tht makes ur heart beats faster n slower at the same time. i wana b the one tht u dream of in reality n fantasy. i wana b the one tht gives u reason to live each day. i wana b the one u cherished......but what if there wasnt anyone out there for me? will it ever be like it used to?
