[currently listening to dear life - anthony hamilton]
eva since i became sick since thurs, eva since i gotta knw shameel, eva since ive helped run two fashion shows unda the malay market for the first time, ive realised its been an eye opening experience for me. ive learned alot. ive seen alot. ive heard alot. plus i faced alot.
thn it keeps me wonder. why? if malay ppl are so creative, imaginative n sumtyms determined. thn why r they bent upon destroying othas instead of helping each otha to bloom togeda. they sure do hav loads of sweet talks o'nothing but hey talk is cheap. sumtyms is juz free speech. not even worth a frickin 2cents. they will say loads of nice things to u abt how they will get each othas back to make it in this industry but then if u juz seat back n observe, they actually kinda make use of u. they indirectly turn u into their slave/sochai.
talk abt insecurities or egos, why shud tht even cross their mind? life is all abt competition but if u cnt take challenges, u dnt have to scheme ur way thru like a conniving bitch juz to stay on top. duh~ thts lame dnt cha tink. its too childish. why cnt they b juz like the chinese. eventho they r even more evil when it comes to business but hey they r professional abt it. who says its a clean n easy world out there? but thn agn who says u hav to b so sly abt it? i thot they say be close to ur frens but be closer to ur enemies...but did u knw sumtyms its ur enemies who will help u to get so far. coz they knw ur a big challenge to them n to define ur the best is to go against the best.
seems like malay communities are too afraid to face the bitter world of reality in the business industry. ok im not saying all, there are a few whos willing to go all out for the success of u but majority juz kills them. so the question here is why? why the narrow-mindedness? if this goes on, how do the malay society gonna build up their name internationally? do we hav to always go thru the otha races juz to b up there? y cnt we help each otha?
juz like kak shameel once said, "org melayu kuno, yng dah top, sentiasa ingat dia di atas. dan akan buat apa saja juz to stay atas. tapi dorang lupa, setiap yang naik, ada turun nya"...cmon its a vicious cycle. sedangkan air ada pasang, surutnya. apa lagi kita manusia. setiap perkara ada pasanganya. btul tak? so y cnt u juz give n take, even compromise? isit tt difficult? isit too much of a task. plz at the end of the day its not abt fame. fame shud b the last thing in mind. it shud b regard as a bonus coz ppl expect to c what u can present to the table. what are ur capabilities. its always the quality not quantity. for sumthng substantial always last compared to sumthng tht is a fad.
haiz. makin kufikirkan...makin pening. makin malas. makin menyampah. now im thinking of getting a new job. mayb a part time 1st so as not to leave secara mendadak nnti org kata apa pulak kan. bukan apalah but its coming to 6 months im in this entertainment industry n theres nothing much tht ive gain. i just hope afta im fully recovered, a new opportunity open its door for me so tht i wont leave. so to prove me wrong abt this whole agenda. so that i will swallow back wateva i said. oh god please help me. i cnt possibly b standing jus infront if the stairway. i want to climb up. but the surrounding make it difficult to move. evrytime i climb two steps, i get push three steps back. penat2.
toodles
mizbithaqueen
[currently listening to all my life - mariah carey]
damn!!! double damn!! triple damn!!!!! im sick! again. n this time its worst. infected by the cold virus. a bad one. n i screwed up one of the most anticipated event tt ive been looking forward to b part of. its pameran pengantin at expo for L.A.B. Bridal couture...
everythng went fine till last thurs. started the symptoms. thn sort of ok oredy. then came friday. was weak but fought it coz got rehearsal in the aftanoon for the opening of the fashion show. then when report in the morning of saturday, it got to the worst side. my whole body was shaking/freezing, my muscles became weak, vision blurred, breathing asthmatic n my voice is losing its glorious vocals. had a dry run ard 1030...afta wic it got me to tha core...i wanted to got to tha doctor n b at home resting. lemme tell u so many ppl i hav to apologies, especially mak sayang aka my boss aka kak lin. thn to ferra the show co-ordinator. thn to all my lovelies.
i was almost hospitalised. my body temp is 42.6c. yup its dat high. haiz. felt so outta place. all i did was eat sleep. shivering thruout. n i hav to wear 3 clothings juz to keep me warm. like ryte now, im wearing a thermal long john ok. mcm kat negeri mat salleh plak.
also thanks to all who hav helped thruout lah. especially fadlee, whu had a chix pox yet still let the show go on. love ya bitch. thx to phat inc, gee and ayis to agree upon helping at the last min. thx to kak gaz for supporting thruout. thx to zirah for helping me cover up as makeup artist for either SML or Cilipadi. love yall so much.
got involve with so many things tht i forgot at times i need to care for myself. haiz. doc say it will take ard5-7 days to cure. hmmmm. nasib nasib.
gosh i miss alot of ppl too! especially my big fat slimy worm who thinks shes a dog. Q!...lama giler tk jumpa jah oi...dnt wori u cn meet me soon but not fad. he got disease. hahaha...lama sgt tk sit n bitch n wash eye. hehehe. must meet up soon k!....
klah2. gtg nk g mandi thn take my medicine.
toodles
mizbithaqueen
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