[currently listening to - fuck off stupidheads by mmi ]
ok. ive heard n confided. n i cnt bliv my ears. i dnt knw whether i cn b part of it anymore. its too hypocritically absurd. its too much now. evrytym for the third tyme bfore we commit into sumthng, u hav an illegal talk n bam! u go bombarding beating the shit out of me. making me the bad guy. its like im so bad tht u r the good ones. like hello~ im not mr knw it all, i juz happen to knw wat is expected next. n when u dnt listen, its all crappy n all u did is bawl n when i go HA! I TOLDJA, u think i talk big.
talk things out with him. n since theres too much disagreement, n no support to wat u say, i stand corrected. n evrytym i correct myself, u think its cool but then again u repeat wateva shits u gotta hav against me, AGAIN!....i aint mad. im drained. drained of disappointment. i mean afta all we go thru, it was all talk?
we keep saying we need a resolution but when the tyme is right, theres no suggestion. n when i came up with one, u kept shut. to think it was ok. but when u changed the idea, i kept shut, u think i cnt take it. dnt act like u knw me. juz bcoz i dnt go all talk on it doesnt mean i have anythng against it. aftaall, its majority. n i listen rather then i voiced out. coz this time i prefer to listen then suggest. im tired. u may not agree with it but theres more to me than u knw. so dont assume or presume me. its so wrong.
juz when i changed a lil of ur idea to make it more broad, u cnt accept it, u cnt adapt to it, force urself to swallow it but end up u bitch bout me? wassup wif tht? and then i gotta knw tht the idea wasnt urs at all. n even if its urs, it wasnt supposed to b tht theatrical but u make it tht way. plz not even me but him also who try n try to fit into ur idea but when it fails a lil, i decided to change it abit to fit for all, there u came biting sayin tht u cnt adapt to it. when its much more simple than wat u gave.
n when u are with me for quite sumtym, u shud knw how i work. i love detailed work. i love versatility. n from when u came, u shud b able to accept it but no~ u hate it. u prefer simple, idiotproof, and family friendly ideas tht evryone has oredy done. wake up n smell the air. wud u rather blend in or stand out?
we've been standing out. we've been the talk of town. we use to think tht being among the best is better than being winners but now, u wana b winners when ur not giving all u got. im trying to climb the ladder but u prefer to jump up. remember its a karma thingy. what goes up, must come down. n if ur up all the way, u will go down. i rather enjoy slow fame than immediate fame. i knw afta this u gona go bitchy abt it. fine i dont mind. its wat u always do. n yes! i do it too but i will confront n bring up the subject not bitch abt it n timid when ur suppose to talk abt it.
let me make it clear. i criously think i had enuff. if u cnt take more of me than u can swallow, i walk out. its the best. n i knw u will love it. less stress less timidity less inferior. n more freedom u mite think. i juz can do this anymore. i can dance to ur tune but ur tune is running out of its rhythm n i cant do it anymore. its ridiculous for me.
lucky to hav him to confide to. n i guess he can b a better partner for u. furhtermore, rather than putting my heart n soul to something i cherish, i mite concerntrate on myself n make me happy.
i got bitten by the mouth tht i feed.
toodles
mizbithaqueen
[currently listening to over it - katherine mcphee]
damn was it eva tiring when u gotta knw stuffs last min. so we thot tht re:mix07 was oredy out. i mean close. but no~ it isnt. i guess due to not well-received response, they r holding a second audition this sat. dang! mayb we will go n try our luck. no harm wat. so its like afta the briefing at ngee ann, we str8 head to town. sheesh.
it was a gr8 two days prac. n i cn feel my babats burning. how shud i say eh...ive been feeling very light lately lah. ntah ehk. mcm nk joget jek. pas tu penat semacam. but i aint complaining. tryna build up ma stamina. so~ amir ayang came down during our prac n do his did n whop hi whip. but it was kinda shockinglah coz OMFG...ur scrawny babeh!...
from the back, u look so much like chinaboy aka frendy aka budak kecik. kudutz to tha max. wateva happen to the greek god who were like carved by an angel n supposedly look dreamy? dah jadi geek goat gytu. ish ish. this is wat happen when u push urself to tha edge n fall badly sick end up losing all those muscle...or izit u tryna b like fad? ugh! thts like so eeew~ eat more ar...n go back to ur jog or watsoeva tht keeps u looking hot
fadz darling came down too. wat a pleasant surprise. damn miss u so much. still tha lively fadz ey. anw hav fun at work ya now tht u got posted to woodlands. wth? tinggal pasir ris keje kat woodlands. haiz. dnt forget to ask regarding transport allowance ar. apa company tu ingat suak hati mak bapak dia antar anak org keje jauh2. anak dara pulak tu. kalau mak dara tkpe jugak.
anw, huge prob. we have two comps cuming up b4 we take a break in july...1st it is re:mix07 then its out reach. but then again..two of the most versatile dancer, steroid ridden, hyped up low-class prostitutes(ok was tht neccessary?) r injured. double tha damn! satu mak joyah ni ada begok. lagi satu mak pe'ah ni fractured toe or isit twisted toe? ntahlah but still...they cnt really dance to save their pathetic injury...haiz. get well soon ya. coz if not, dnt think we shud join any comp, ur prosper health is more important.
ouhouh...afta so long, fyk came down yest. n damn he look haggard. with the seleleh look n haystack hair...sum ppl must b the saying.."waddehell was i thinking?". fyk darl, not only the work drained u of ur energy, it also drain u frm ur personality. mana elmo yng cam dulu ah? no more cuteness. fugly.
hmm. sistah wedding is cumming up real soon. loads of things to do. n loads of things gotta get ready. but still loads of things not purchase yet. so once its all to perfect avail, no time to waste n i must knw how to manage time.
hmmm~ in approximately two weeks its gona b the day. wat r my plans eh? hmm. kenek tgk budget jugaklah. hehehe. but i knw wat i want frm zirah, natra, my cuzzins n family. bt the rest, up to u ppl yeah.
toodles
mizbithaqueen
p.s:
ur missed. ur loved. u came. u smile. u chat. u dance. u joke. u chill. u hug. u laugh. it was nice.
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Monday, June 18, 2007
[currently listening to i cry - shayne ward]
wooohooo! 160607 was a blast date. afat so long, we had a cuzzin nite out! yeah n it was rawking. i had fun. so much fun. well it was all to commemmorate dearest cuzzin o' mine, nurul ain for its he bday celebration.
gather up at cash studio for sum loud hailing karaoke. ahakz. all the sumbangs n flatnotes cum togeda in one room. for 4 hrs str8. afta tht we zoom our way to arab st. coz dearie cuzzie wana sheesha. n yes its been awhile. so we head to el-sheikh but damn it was packed with snob arabs. yuckies. thn we head to tha traditional, al majlis. still as strong crowd attraction as eva...we get a carpeted seat as nurul insisted. had delicious arab food n two sheesha pipes. laugh our nite thru wif crappy jokes n sang our heartout for the bday girl. had a vid of it wic will b up in youtube soon. hehehe. reach home at 3am. n damn was shagged oredy. shleep was calling me.
so yest was dance xplosion2 at tamp. it was an ok start lah. with familiar faces ard n loads of cheek to cheek kisses. it went out smoothly till the unwanted performances came up. ugh!...so we sat bside D.U.A...n ahahaha...so kecohrism. mcm pelacur terbiar gytu. whn phat inc met d.u.a....its total sarcasm on tha loose. kutuk tk ingat dunia. hehehe. i loike.
thn there was a battle thingy gg on. n damn...it was dopey dope. lurve the freestylers. n aisha darl was doin her thang. ur hot lah babe on stage. n guess wat pinky n aishah battle lah kan ngan each otha. hawt! it was refreshing. then the d.u.a. bithces show wat its like to shake your thang while looking slutty. hehehe. funny lah. yng part boring bila ada sum stupid dancers nk step gaduh2...tk dapat ar.
the worst part was the results. ada ke patut tarian lap tingkap menang 1st place? rubbish kan. so like now, dance comp is bringing in ethnicity back. well if its a fusion, its ok but totally ethnic is nonsensical. juz whn the judges say dancing to otha themes dnt bring in xtra credits but wats this? it was hands dwn tht k.d.s., the odds n young hotnesz shud b top three but no! its sum stupid irritatingly incorrigable chinese dancers. like pure chinese dancers yang kau nak lempar tempayan kt muka dorang sampai pecah seribu. haiz its totally unpredictable. dnt knw wats next? musical mayb? how abt pornography? shud b fun...
ouhouh...so now we knw tht snudge'z is str8. ceh wat a waste of time. dh str8 jgn nk step controversial ar. juz whn i thot it was cute..it turn out the otha way round. haiz. luckily my hopes r not tht high. nvm, at least u b a good eyecandy. so yes fad, u cn forget abt it. but heyhey...u cn stil flirt wif the supa cute khai. hehehe. kita flirt sama2 ehk. ahahaha. juz a frenly one lah. jgn sampai budak tu phobia kene sawan sudah.
btw zirah twinnie...amir is like so hot lah kan. cute mautnya. go for him lah bitch. aishah darl, get ova adam or ur dead! hes mine to drool back off! or u wana end up like ayun? amir ayang...ur like turning stick thin. wt happn? nak lawan kudutness dgn fad eh? go pump sum iron aite.
toodles
mizbithaqueen
p.s:
i thot it was sweet till reality bites. u were jz there for the sake of it. haiz. n i thot sumthng cn cum up.
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007
[currently listening to shout - whoopi goldberg]
so we didnt make it to tha next round of dance explosion2. thts ok. we do wat we had to do n tht is dance n hav fun while making frens with dear fellow dancers. well actualli we kinda see it coming oredy. it was sorta expected lah. coz we heard one fellow judge say to anotha...three is too small. so yeah. there goes our chances. its not like we hav low self-esteem or wat lah but its not our time yet.
well at least we werent crappy to go howling n mauling for not making to tha next round. theres always the next upcoming comp. theres always anotha platform to show. like come on life is like a patio door. u may neva knw which side it opens. so up next is out reach comp. will b held at ngee ann poly. it will b on th e 30th june. its gona b sumthng like the nan chiau(smack dat beat) event. a charity thingy.
but this time round we kinda stress lah. we wana join as a lot more. but due to certain circumstances, not many can commit. well tried to collabo with freshfunk but they r not ready. hmm. hav to look for potential dancers. the hunt is now on. hehe. or mayb its gona b juz the 3 of us again....hhmmm...cannot cannot. it will b so blunt. ayun n ifa r intrested. sanggup mia from ndp prac for this. but i dnt knw. i mean ifa has a very bad knee prob n im not gona take the risk if she fractured it again. its not like shes a retard or sumthng but when it comes to certain floorwork or leg movement, theres loads of restrictionlah. n i cnt bear to c her in pain. she hav to take care of her knees or it will b amputated. OMFG! ifa gona b a one-legged freak!!! AAAAHHH!!! (okok...snap out of it...too much tv i guess)
well ayun if ur reading this, dont laugh at ifa. u too hav a prob of ur own u big dumb bimbotic dork. wheres the ayun tht me n fad praises back then at stomp tha floor n smack dat beat. gosh i guess it runs in u too huh. tkleh puji sikit. kene puji jek jadi mepek. isap ar mat! badan jek besar macam tong minyak tapi ha! bila pat kene gelek jek macam bapok siam...waddehell. u ar. hav so much potential but dnt knw how to project it. ntah dh berbuih sabun mulut ku dgn fad. aku rasa agaknya sampai kita sakit chronic ke terminal disease ke or mayb TB or parkinson pun u still gona move like sotong basi...so the layu. jgn nak step adik melayu terakhir ar. g join sri paduka(tarian org-org tua melaka) sana. sure got a spot for u...haiz.
anw. me n hykell got this wild idea. if evrythng goes well, mayb we mite collabo with each otha. YH n PHAT Inc. its kinda cool. but ntah bila ehk. insyaallah c how 1st lah. wat event is coming up. mayb a performance or a competition. tht will b nice.
toodles
mizbithaqueen
p.s:
ur too quiet. i guess we scared u. sorie. heh
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Monday, June 11, 2007
[currently listening to holler - spice girls]
yest was so fun. well meet up zal in the morn at compaspnt nak pinjam sluar for the comp in tha noon. wic afta tht we r joined with fad aishah lala n dan. pagi2 dah buat kecoh. so then lata on we go search for red tshit for fad coz apparently zirah was loaning hers to fad tapi tht gerl lambat sampai.
reached sengkang cc, welcomed by young hotnesz. cepatlah kan korang sampai n siap smua. kita phat inc lagik terkedik2 nak tukarlah nk berak lah. buat smua chop2 jek pasal not enuff tym. our audition is ard 1210-1215 gytu n we r stil not really ready when its oredy 12. damn. tk sempat makeup smua. haiz. thn its our turn. well the stage was ok. the judges n their entourage r so pendiam. not a single move except for one black hooded guy who i think hav parkinson or sumthng. coz all he did was banging n bobbing his head. wth.
so ya. we did our thing. but starting the music is soft lah. until i shouted "louder please!!" while dancing u know. so tkda feel. thn the momentum takes its pace n blam we r doin our thang. i screwed up a bit lah but i manage to cover up by lip-synching n do sexxy moves as part of the lyrics. hehe.
kluar dah mcm pelacur kene rogol. so sweaty n wobbly. terkangkang kejap kat sana. eventho we did good but i think we cn do betta. anw, we manage to take a few pics as u cn c. it was fun lah. me as the mak joyah yang memaksa smua org utk bangun n take pics...kalau tk ha! smua dah nk balik. boring ajek. anw i thot of taking pic wif him but dia mcm takda mood jek, so i giv it a pass. lagipun its a small dance industry, conferm terjumpa lagik....
anw im glad we r bonding closer. young hotnesz fis n karmasutra. amir ayang is stil sick. damn u dnt knw how to take care of urself ar. young hotnesz r cute lah. macam mintak kene sepak dahi satu2. ahahaha. lagi2 khai...n to tha curly wurly girl whose name im not sure of...take care of ur thighs ya...get rid of the craps fast.
afta tht we went downtown to catch level up. n damn im so glad we went. it was bloddy slammin. freekZy nutz r so power to tha max. so creative. so energetic. n its a no wonder they won. B.H.F. was sexily hiphop{os there such a word} aniwaes...sexy mama did her thang. sampai skarang tk tau nama lah kan. lush is the cutest crew there. with a cute intro n supa cute ending. well eventho the little white ring hoods r fabulous, they did the same thing. lil nutz look tired but they neva stop smiling. like tht. def crunk was good too. mak~ raizan joget dgn muka2 monchong tu...but the energy was superb. i love it. i lurve it. i llloooorrrvvveee iiittt!!! hehehehe.
pas tu kita lepak lah. me fad ayun pinky q zirah nisha bapak abang zal frendy tasha n ayie. it was ok. window shopping n stuf. then lepakz at istana park. thn went home. hehehe. penat lah katakan. but it was fun. real fun. i juz cnt stop dancing yest. hehehe....
toodles
mizbithaqueen
p.s:
7683439....so cute. but im not sure......
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Thursday, June 07, 2007
[currently listening to i love you - tom jones]
im bored. dnt knw watta do. its the beginning of june n i hav no plans to njoy. sum beg to differ coz they r gg overseas or sum overnighting. how fun. haiz. smakin hari, smakin ramai org akan g ns. n im stuck dwn here wif nothing. how i really wish tht i wil b exempted. tht will b such a blessing. *crossing fingers*
shudnt june the month of fun? well evry1 caught up with sumthng. n im gona b supa bz as the days of my sister's wedding is nearing. n im so gona invite all the dancers tht im close to. not to forget sum of my nafa frens n working buddies.
so afta all the days, i chatted wif ayun(the lalat miang) ova e fon. it was all laughter till his mom wana use the fone. kata jek pas tu nak cal balik. waddehell. tk call pun. so today, im gg dwn to pasir ris n meet up wif camila. gona chil wif her n boogie at her dance studio. hee~ cnt wait. i miss bellydance.
so me n babe got sum wrong interperception of each otha. its like we hav no tym for each otha but we hav tym for othas. feelin the guilt. n im gona make it up to her soon. soon means end of the month where i get my pay n will blanja her. <--read tht babe. it wil b on me aaite. u pick the place this time round. n its gona b from dusk til dawn aaite. i promise. n ouhouh loads of foto taking yea. kata camwhores. heeee~
btw, on tues went down for dance explosion briefing. damn it was crappy. the organizers were so chauvinistly piggy tht they r kinda rubbish. met up wif sum dancers there. n i gues kalau tkda me n fad, the whole thing gona b so damn serious. we crack jokes n manage to keep ppl wide awake. ha! loudhailers on tha loose. n damn he was there. he attended the briefing too. wana go up to him but i shy~(tune ifa) so all i did is steal glances. hehe. n all he did was smile n stare. waddefuck. but anw, its juz eyecandy. for the love of god, juz gotta knw hes like wat? 17? n i aint no paedophile. ehem. unlike fad.
ouhouh, we came up wif this club its called S.A.D....single available desperate. ahahaha. so corny yet fun. jalan2 nampak eligible nomination n there we go shouting "single available n desperate..." while pointing at each otha. sumtyms we get stares sumtyms we get little chuckles. ahakz. so to who wana apply, welcum to tha club. ahahahahaha.
klah2. nothing more to type abt.
toodles
mizbithaqueen
p.s:
It's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside, I'm standing here but all I want is to be over. Why did I let myself believe miracles could happen? cause now I have to pretend that I don't really care.
I thought you were my fairytale, a dream when I'm not sleeping. Now I know your not a fairytale and dreams were meant for sleeping.
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Monday, June 04, 2007
[currently listening to stranger in my house - tamia]
so it wasnt a smooth sailing days for me but im not complaining. its all a challenge. at work home n play. so many things to focus on i hav to start deciding.
so yea sun was ok. went to level up semi with fad n aishah. met up with the fantabulous dancers. dah mcm diva mana kitorang. masuk far east jek, hi sana hi sini. ahahaha. love it. so yea we sat with hottie lushians n def crunks. kecoh2 sikit then blast for a smoke.
met up wif freakZy. fablicious dancers. (think adam n lan)...ehehehe not to forget reella sexy biatch of coz. then bumped into C.A. blimey trish n guy then the othas like lil dopes, young hotnesz f.i.s. rage n b.h.f. frenly ppl lah they all so we cnt afford to b snobs wat. furthermore we r not even a snob to begin with. kita ni giler kenalan so yeah we did our part.
honestly speaking, the semis, didnt do tht impressive this time round. mcm smua dah penat gytu. during the heats they r fantastic. but anw, lush neva fails to impress. dorang jeklah yng mcm tk penat gytu. n wats nice n surprising, they dance to spice girls tunes!!! can u bliv it. oh my great mind thinks alike dont they. i mean ive made a remix wif spice girls song in it tapi tk pernah dapat pakai, n now, lush dah buat. hehehehe. n one more thing, ive made a remix wif tht techno song butterfly, tk dapat pakai jugak n now the little white riding boys pun dah pakai. ahakz. so proud of meself.
so we want to cum dwn to finals n the finalist wants us to cum dwn to finals coz they love us as their groupies. we r the loudest ok. thx to fad for most of it. hehehe. but dang we r down with dance explosion. so yea. cnt b at two place at the same tyme. even freakZy n lush wana b down for us but cnt make it. so too bad phat inc. haiz.
anw, snudge'z like super cute. adam freakZy is supa hot. syam very the flirty. reella the supa hot. dee the sexay mama. mazie the inspiration. ha~ so love it. klah2...wana go shleep.
toodles
mizbithaqueen
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Friday, June 01, 2007
[currently listening to when i need you - air supply]
im feeling kinda seh~today. ntah ehk. coz im stil thinking abt my best bitch fad. its like so sad. so depressing. wat is the world becoming? i mean due to situations, ur cornered to give up evrythng tht u like. scratch tht. love it.
cant undastand parents these days. isit juz us or they r getting way too protective tht thy kinda like get easily horrified by the outside world. thy keep saying they love us but dnt really let us do what we want. its not like the end of the world. i mean they want whats best for us but they dnt let us experience the good n bad. how we gona judge it for ourself when wateva we wana do is so wrong to them? haiz. juz whn u think u got their trust n respect, it all flows back to square one.
so fad mayb gg thru hard times now. im sympathising him for his evil parents r so out of their mind(sorri darl~)....so now we r gona lose a helluva dancer n so hav to find a replacement. or mayb not. i dnt knw lah. coz seriously, if hes out, im out too. theres no point dancing wifout my steroid bitch. i mean i hav the rest of the babies but its gona feel naked wifout him. haiz. all thanks to his father's frens. those bunch of guys. nama jek lelaki tapi ha! mulut mcam mak jujat, joyah pe'ah petom rosmah kiah milah. so the kak nam. sikit2 report. sikit2 report. wat rubbish. tulah bila org kata pompan ada dua mulut, i guess jantan ada enam mulut. kimak dia punya kepo tkleh angkat. pas tu dia ego n tambah2 story pandai pulak. n fyi, i am a guy but i have female undastanding ok. so i knw wat it feels like....
btw, dance explosion up next. n this tyme round, its gona b three oni. instead of seven. the otha four hav prior commitments so let thm b dnt wana disturb. n u may neva knw it mite b our last..me n fad tht is. so yeah thts tht.
ouh2~freak-z is like so damn cute. n the hot guy frm rage is dreamy. bt damn...dreams r only dreams. n ouhya, i juz realize meil new haircut is such a split resemble of my ayang. only meil is more cina looking lah. hehe. razif is like so cute too...rmmber his line at cc "asal? jelez kape?" hahaha he said tht to fad. hehekx.
btw ayun. u may not tell me wateva is gg on. but i knw. u cn get ova it. its not the end of tha world. u knw tht. there r many fishes in the sea...duh~ n zirah twinnie, go ahead with tht guy haikal. neya love, betta make ur mind str8 abt ur love life or u wil b destroying urself. to natra n fadz, do u girls stil want the perfume? to hykell, i try to make it to semi ok. mayb working but hey i got ur pressie oredi. pinky baby, hit em upstyle at PA this sun ya. n last to my darling babe, miss u so much n so wana mit u but evrytym ada jek yg kacau. so yeah this sat we cn meet up. but dnt tel my sis ar. im suppose to b working lah baby. hee~
toodles
mizbithaqueen
i make believe tht u r here, its the only way tht i see clear....
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