feeling all stressed out everytime (ok not everytime lah but most) whenever i step in/step out from work. it's not about the sales(well some of it), customers(like what customers...?) or the brands. but most importantly it's about your seniors. yes! the boss and supervisors. such a pain in the ass that i could literally rip the hair out of them violently.

how about your supervisor is feeling so inferior and insecure about your presence at work. just because i have more experience being in the beauty line(esp in luxury brand) compared to her, that doesn't make me any better(maybe at some situations...yes). i'm in a new company, getting to know new brands, so that makes me a newbie. she practically have an issue on anything i do. like me speaking good english(like duh! im sporean and you are malaysian...no offence), the way i interact with the customers professionally, the way i do make-up and the way i do eyebrows. heck! even the style i do housekeeping is creeping her. i can't help it that i like my workplace to be sparkling clean. and hello...flashback...would you buy a luxury item when the display/testers are freaking dusty/messy/dirty? i know for sure i won't eventhough if i'm in need of it.

then there's my boss aka manager who's a 60+ year old hag(whose not even sure about her real age...sounds familiar? LOL) who always stress us on sales, practically calling every hour to check on it, forcing us to force people to buy skincare where the price is too pricey for the volume(think 5ml eye gel fot $85) and pushed people to put on super thick make-up(not for me lah but stress you know looking at your colleague in DRAG). BUT, that is not the worst. the worst part is your boss is hardcore christian. the store will play church music 24/7. she keep bragging about the way of life of jesus knowing the fact that none of us are christian(how ironic). and at some point, make us pray to jesus. which that part pisses the shit out of me! luckily i'm strong enough not to do it, so she screamed at me and say..."you're a pain in the ass. you go to one corner and pray to the lord coz there's a devil in you. pray to him for forgiveness!" like hello, am i a make-up artist or am i a churchboy?!

well...typing about it makes my blood boil. ugh!

anw, dear ifah, it's not that im mad/blind/crazy or what have you. but i just thought that it will be nice if such thing happen again. well, maybe i think/ask too much. maybe i hope too much. but oh well, what's love got to do with it?

btw the experience is nice. i was actually worrying something bad to happen but i think too much(again). it was worth it. whole 5 hours spent. loved every minute of it. hope it can happen again. *woots*

something just tickles my intuition. out of the blue you just change. did i miss something? did i do something you don't like? you always have something in your mind but somehow you never want to tell me. if it's too much of a secret, i respect your decision but if it's something about me, please do tell. it's the least i can do to avoid such partition between me and you. one moment you and me can be laughing and talking, next moment you are all out cold and introvert to me. i just don't understand. at first i thought that you are doing through too much in a day or you had a rough morning but then it's still the same whenever we meet. even the latest meet, you are all smiley but tired, there's something that is bothering you. i'm not sure if it's about your status, your occupation, your family or something about me. i really hope one day you open up your heart and tell me. be it rude/sad/painful/straightforward. i rather take the poison and swallow rather than have to experience a cold, slow death treatment. you know that i somehow can feel/sense when something is not right. and definitely something is not right about you. that's why i always stress upon meeting you and only you. so we can talk/discuss/exchange our thoughts/agreement/likings/emotions towards what we have been building for the past few years. i know you know that i'm talking about you. it's just either you refuse to acknowledge it or it takes time for you to let it out. and i know you are not the type who forget things/topics, you only say that because you can't think of anyway to manipulate and change the story or you don't want me to know/get involve with. but i sure to pray to God that you tell me and don't salvage anything that we have.

toodles

Izhan Shah