[currently listening to nobody wants to b the first to say goodbye-jennifer hudson]
seriously i dnt knw wat mood im in rite now? its juz so blank n so meshed tht i cnt think str8. meaning am i happy or sad or mad or wat??? its erm so blurr...one big blurr. but wat i do knw is tht i want to hav a partner. its been donkey years infact eons im single. but thn again, mana ada calon2? evrythng is either an acquaintance or juz plain nasty.
ive seen ppl come n go. ive seen ppl breakdwn, bein in love, bein lost in love or simply bein hurt. ive been there, done tht but i wana experience it once again. to c ur closed ones getting all this mixed feelings of love in a relationship, u r happy for them but at the same time u want it for urself. be it sad happy pain or gain. mayb im mad to some ppl for asking to b in such situation. i knw ive been saying tht singlehood is fun[no doubt it is] but there will b tyms where u want to hav a shoulder to cry on, a hug for warmth n a kiss for tender.
i get all tht from my lovely bunch of lovelies like wanie, phat inc n wandererz. but its totally diff if u get it frm ur sum1 special. its sumthng tht u treasure. imagine bein single for almost 5 yrs now....terukkn...dh banyak sgt org terkejut whn i told thm tht im single. coz to thm i dnt look like the single type. i dnt dserve to b single. but hey wattado. like fad said, im fussy. but the truth is im not. i juz dnt find the chemistry yet. but when i do, i usually left high n dry. apa nasib. slalu sgt kene gini...sumtyms i ask myself...kenapa harusku bercinta? kenapa ku percaya? kenapa harusku merayu?...
but wateva it is, let it b...im contented with wat i hav now...lovely frens...caring family...sucky job n empty pocket...ahahahahaha....so need a new job!!! waddehell....
toodles
mizbithaqueen
p.s:
I can hide the pain that i feel and makes others think that i can move on but i can never deny the truth that..the person who failed and hurt me,is still the same person i wish to..love me...
because.....somewhere throughout it all, all the jokes, the memories, the screams, the tears I actually fell in love with you.
