this morning...ard 1230ish...had a nice talk wif ayun ova tha fon till 215. it was really pleasant. glad for him tht hes happy now. thy reconcile. he got wat he wanted. awww~ m so happy for u. if u hear my voice yest ova tha fon i was so touched. wait till fad knws...he'll b ecstatic. but in a way, i envy u. u knw wat i mean. heh. so its lyk im tha only one left in square one. but its ok. i hav u ppl.
yeah. yest chill was ok. mcm tkda arah tujuan ar. felt so gypsy in a mo. jumpa kat tamp mall...thn go to sky garden. there was ayun me zal nor bonzer. thn we head to telepark. damn was it supa windy. thn came ifa n anto. boyfren~ hehe. tha weird thing is, evry1 in uniform lah kn. except for us lah (me ayun ifa). mcm klakar gytu. thn came my darling babe, wanie. ugh~ hw i missed her so much. updated her of wats been happening in my life. y m like so down but she was so proud of me coz i cn stil put up a smile thts not plastic. heh. hafta b strong but not defensive.
she clicked wif anto n frazze. ya, we had our laughter. had a tidbit of heart talk. it was nice. so its lyk nw u ppl knw y shes my bestfren. we cn read each othas mind. senang cakap, theres a strong chemistry. we may not meet each otha for quite sumtym but whn we do, theres always a sense on concern, treasure n contented. haiz...missin u babe so much we shud do this more often.
gawd. im crushed. whn i saw tha tears in ifa's eyes. i knw she meant well whn she did tht to him. but the qns is, does he knw its her? does he knw tht shes always there for him? does he appreciate her? y does he keep hurting her lyk this? plz dnt keep hurting her if u cnt take care of her. shes like a glass once broken it will shatter. n now i cn c cracks on her. bt anw dont feel dumb or stupid for bein nice to him darl. its a noble deed done. we got ur back k. jz cut urself sum slcak frm all this. love.
to those whu knw wat im gg thru ryt now, help me. get thru this. its been a while since i had this feelin tha last tym so im not really sure how to handle it. i kept tellin my head to let go n try to shut my heart. coz it tells me not too. n now a third party is involve. in a way it makes my job easier but its the most aching thing to go thru. m breaking down someone pray for me. he loves like no other not an ordinary love. restore my joy, restore my courage lord i need your love. im outta love, set me free, take me out of this misery. juz show me a way to get my life again coz u cnt handle me.
so square one is filled by me. whus gona accompany me? no one.
toodles
mizbithaqueen
p.s:
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