finally got my fingers running on my keyboard. ok 1st things 1st. happy berfdae to my baby bro! hes lyk 19 now. heh. dh tua eh. so we went out celebrate his berfdae at Mad Jack! australian restaurant. makanan power to tha max lah kn. mak oi jah jgn kata jilat jari, sedut dgn nyot2 skali kiah oi.
it was nice to c my fam n nurul fam get 2geder n chill. its been awhile n it was such a pleasant evening. but im missing sum ppl, if ur reading it u knw urself ya. im missing u badly.
anw, tha nyt b4, we met up at cc. its abt our outfitlah. since we cnt get it, mite as well we make it. n thnks to akid mum tha supawoman aka multi-tasker, she gona make for us n on mon i hafta go get tha barang2 ready. imagine makin a hoodie jacket for 22 ppl. kalau aku, dh lama tempah kain kapan kapas papn long n nisan. hish~
so tht nyt was more of a slackin day, smoking session for us smokers of dphat. heh. sronok~ mcm smoke machine kitorang bedah oi. sum ppl wer on cloud 10. wic makes me n fad laugh lyk no1 business lah coz we cnt bliv its happenin...so happy for u...happy till we laugh our feets off..
so afta we all went off to our own directns, im heading to my frens chalet. hoping tht i cn take my mind of u 1st. but hell was i wrong. whu was i lying to? myself? ugh--- so eventho i was filled wif my frens ard me, i was down..my esteem was down, i felt dumb and alone i dnt knw wher to go...so i msg fad ayun n anto...n anto darlin replied...i was shocked lah..wasnt expecting anythng...coz it was like 0050hrs seh
so i let it out to him...tel him details bout it...he was so nice abt it. ah~ tht explains y hes such a charmed guy. great personality. we chat till 5am. but it was so nice. i felt abit relief lah tht i gt sum1 to talk to. sum1 whu understands. eventho i cnt really relate but it was close. close enuff for me to relax.
eventho to u it was nothin, its jz some lame crush u hate it(i guess), its not juz a crush for me lah. coz if it is, i'll get over u by now. but i cnt. haiz mayb tym wil tell. but for now, even if u dnt admit it, i really thnk ur ignorant towards me. or izit me whu imagine thngs. coz i feel tht ur drifting away. my head say to stop it but my heart dnt wana listen. coz eventho we rarely chat, whn we do im on tha high. but nw, we dnt do it anymore. its ok i understand. but i hope whn i really need u, u'll b there for me. seriously. ugh~ how i wish i cn hug you, like really hug u. but i guess it wont happen coz its out of your league.
i guess i wana hit tha sack now. hafta wake up early tmr...
toodles
mizbithaqueen
p.s:
akanku cuba memujuk hati ini
semoga berbahagia selalu
takkan aku lupa tentang mimpi
dimana kau milikku
aku tidak tahu
mengapa harusku menyintai dirimu
mungkinkah kau ada jawapan yang lain
tanamlah padaku
agar tidak sesal mengharapkan kasih
pada yang berpunya~
n so u knw:
Ku harapkan sinar purnama hingga ke siang
Ku harapkan mimpi-mimpi bukan khayalan
Telah aku jelajahi seluruh benua
Mencari pengertian hidup yang sementara
Manusia beranika ragan dan rupa
Ada yang jujur dan ramai berpura-pura
Ku sangka dalam ilmu dan pengetahuan ku
Tapi ada waktu ku terkeliru
Ku dambakan bukan sekadar yang dinamakan
Kekasih yang menemani ke sana sini
Ku dambakan sahabat dan teman setia
Rela bersama suka dan duka
Jadilah kau sahabat ku, kekasih dan teman
Hanya itu yang ku harapkan
Dalam susah dalam senang kita seiringan
Semoga ikatan berkekalan
__________________________________________________________________
